March is in 11 days! I don’t know about you but that is shocking to me. I feel like 2021 has been somewhat of a year of survival and just getting through the days is a major accomplishment. I know 2020 was hard, and I knew logically that nothing would change just because it was a new year, but a part of me still kind of hoped something would change. So needless to say when plastic self proclaimed “shamans” stormed the capital, Armie Hammer was outed as a alleged cannibal, and Marilyn Manson was exposed as a horrible physical, emotional and mental abuser of barely legal girls I knew this year would be anything other than a break and I hit a wall and a manic low so bad I got a little scared. I think we all did to be honest. No one knows how to be in a pandemic well, so needless to say I had no choice but to slow down and only do what was necessary. There have been some really hard truths I have had to face throughout this. One of them is my privilege. As my husband and I try and find a home to own and after 4 offers being rejected we have had to count our blessings that we have a nice rental to feel safe in during a time where that is not the case for everyone. I have had to let go of the dream of owning a house just for now, but also acknowledge that we are very privileged and blessed people. While we are on the topic of privilege, I am also noticing an energetic alliance of sorts around those that preach woman empowerment as a tactic to serve as shaming anyone who dares question their ethics. I find there is a brand of spiritual entrepreneur forging that rejects the idea of accountability instead choosing to gaslight you as “negative” and “unsupportive” when you question their message. I had a woman actually try and make the argument that enforcing the wearing of masks in public spaces was similar to the rights being taken away from Jewish people in the Holocaust. When I dared block her she found me on Facebook to say that she thought we were friends and that I was the problem for daring to judge her. When did judgment get such a bad rap? Is it not a more direct way of saying be discerning? Judgment is needed and a necessity in a world where people are claiming they can actually heal you and encourage codependency in order to get your money. Some individuals who use judgment as a dirty word also love to label negative people as toxic. Negativity is usually just the opinions of realists, which is subjective based on their life experiences. This does not mean you need to align with the views that don’t align with you. You absolutely should be discerning of those who do seek to cause you harm and bring you down with malicious intent, as trust me this does happen, but please don’t call yourself an empath then label trauma informed folks “negative” as these views are usually formed and backed up by trauma and abuse that has created a reality very much in the realm of this person’s world. Try and remember that authentic optimism usually includes a realist’s point of view and is very different from slapping on a “be positive” sicker. It is also important to note that being able to choose optimism is very much a privilege, yes a privilege. And that is what antiracism work has taught me! Also, when your views are violent and you use the adversity of a marginalized group of people to prove why you are right I don’t even deem you worth of a conversation. There are also less severe examples of that though and I want you to ask yourself if you want to be the person who shouts woman empowerment into a void to avoid accountability when you have caused harm even on the smallest scale. Trust me when I say I am not excluded from this, and this work is not easy, but man is it rewarding.
With that said, I pose these questions because they are questions I have been asking myself. How am I causing harm, and really just listening to people tell their stories and ask myself are there parts of my business that feel inauthentic. The more I educate myself and learn to listen to those who have felt victimized by racism and emotional abuse of any kind I have come to a very big decision for my business. On the recommendation of an amazing activist I follow on Instagram and Patreon @hexactivist I started reading the book Reiki and Japan, by Masaki Nishina and it has really helped me to understand that what I do is not reiki. This is not to say I am any kind of authority on this at all, it is simply a choice I am making one hundred percent for me. I do these large sessions where I tap into your body then do full on readings after. I use colour and points in the body to show you where emotion is hiding and I never use anything other than my own intuition. To be honest I never really felt a deep connection to reiki, but the energy I learned in training changed my life. Calling what I do energy healing sessions lets me get out of a structured practice and kind and fly by the seat of my pants with freedom (can you tell I am a Sagittarius). With that said I will mess up and say reiki, it will take a long time to de-program myself, but it is a step I feel I needed to take. Lastly I want to emphasis I am a big supporter of the reiki community and not in a position to be an authority for anyone other than myself. I still see a reiki practitioner for my own healing and I love it very much. I am simply stepping away from calling myself a reiki practitioner because quite frankly I don’t think that is all what I am doing, and I want my practice to cause the least amount of harm as possible to the creators of this ancient energetic technique, but I also want people who feel drawn to me to have full disclosure in case reiki is what they are looking for.
