Let’s start by saying I believe in unity. I believe that we should listen to the collective opinion of scientists directly in the field of vaccine research in hopes that this will help arm ourselves against a deadly infectious virus so we can work to end this pandemic. I understand and have seen the risks of this vaccine or any vaccine really and do so anyways to act in what experts describe as the best way to unify. I understand the effects on mental health being locked away for so long and I think if you are acting responsibly and not putting anyone at risk you fully have a right to vent about this and be heard. So, when someone outright calls or implies that we are inciting divisiveness for not wanting to let unvaccinated truckers into the country who are 9 times more likely to spread this infectious disease, or not wanting to protest either at a hospital or capitol hill or wherever else I had to stop and ask myself am I the problem am I being “divisive”? I sat with this question for a while, weeks. Then I came to this question: What is it called when you refuse to safeguard yourself in anyway against a deadly disease, prioritize your body autonomy over what the collective experts have begged us to do to unify in this then turn around and claim your freedoms are at stake and that we are being divisive? Oh, right it’s called gaslighting! Refusing to help in any way then telling the 80% of us who are vaccinated that we are just fear ridden and that we are the issue has become quite popular with “highly sensitive people” or “Empaths.” Let me preface this by saying real empaths exist, I have met some, but I hate that term now due to a very large population of people who are clearly the exact opposite of what an empath is who use it as a reason for why they won’t get vaccinated or why their feelings matter more than yours. So if you’re reading this and you know this isn’t you please don’t get hurt, just like I am not speaking to those who have been told by their doctor that they cannot vaccinate this is not directed at you (although I cringe knowing some claim they have an exemption but haven’t spoken to their doctor at all or have made assumption never validated by a doctor).
What I wanted to talk about today is the insidious shame techniques of those who truly act like they know something we don’t. Of this small group of people who say they refuse to give into fear or be controlled in any way, who say that anything in direct opposition to them is divisive, and anything feeding their narrative is collective. Truth use to be truth! Now you can find the one rogue scientist who stands against a collective of scientists or cite an article on Rebel news written by an extremist with no educational background in science or vaccines and it becomes the source in which you site to prove you have a point. There is a much larger issue at play when we live in a society where people can simply make up their own science then use spiritual friendly terms like “I trust my guides” or “my intuition matters” or “you’ll see, I have a direct connection to god” as proof. Therefore you see such a large portion of people with anti-vaccine values calling themselves empaths or highly sensitive souls who simply can’t put any “toxins” in their body, or why a large part of the people who exist in the “spiritual community” are very against the vaccine. These are also the people who are very against me being medicated for my manic-depressive disorder and think we should be able to “heal” ourselves too, or my new favourite “the body knows what to do”. Lately what has been bothering me so much that I needed to dedicate an entire blog to it is this gaslighting technique being used where others project what they are doing right onto you and tell you to fix their issues. Get me out of this pandemic, lower the restrictions, but no I won’t vaccinate, no I won’t distance or mask, and yes this is your issue! HUH?
Here is the truth: I am tired of being yelled at that I am just fear based and that is why I vaccinated and follow lockdown mandates and comply to the government when I am asked to mask in public places (yes someone said this to me). The arrogance that it takes to claim anyone strongly opposing your beliefs is being divisive or a sheep, then actively tell them that their choices are wrong and further imply that it is my deep unhealed and triggered soul that has led me to these choices, again HUH? How is it you get to do whatever you want, say whatever you want, and I am the fragile, mislead broken person? These are the people who usually come at you for unfollowing them saying I am not being objective then when they do it, they need to prioritize their mental health. Maybe we have too much freedom here in Canada because when we can say shit like “agree to disagree” on actual proven facts and have one set of rules for one group of people and one set for another it feels a little like anything goes, and my mind is doing circles to try to find the actual truth.
Here is the truth, I have experienced life altering fear during this pandemic and it hasn’t been easy. At the beginning I tried to will myself to go for walks. I would make it as far as the mailbox and have an anxiety attack and run home. I would then just walk around my small backyard to get some air until I could figure out what I was going to do with this new phobia of leaving my house. I shut my business down for 3 months because as a psychic medium when I tried to predict or tap in for my clients all I could see was us being in this for years and it being a very dark time, and how do you tell people that? It’s not like I ignore that there are side-effects to the vaccine or like I don’t think about what could happen years from now, trust me I do, but when I was told by people smarter than me that this was our best effort out of this I listened. Claiming I am fear based is not a lie I guess, but it does confuse me when you act as if this hasn’t affected you in the least and that YOU KNOW the answers. To me you seem just as fear based at me except you cannot own it and by shoving it down you have just ended up projecting all over the place. When your actions influence the collective and how long we are stuck in this place; when you won’t do what experts say will help then imply you know something we don’t with no proven credible, educated source; when you refuse to unify then tell others they are being divisive; when our government has to legislate rules to reduce the spread of a deadly disease and you protest mask-less and/or in groups at hospitals or elsewhere; when you use ableism to justify the deaths; lastly when you refuse to confront your own fears or shadows around what this horribly dark pandemic has done to you it becomes our issue to deal with and is straight up abusive. It is like being in a relationship where you take zero accountability in a place where no truth or fact is good enough because your truth is the only thing that counts, and that truth is never consistent, and changes based on what serves you. It’s exhausting. I have become quite tired of being shamed and called divisive when it seems as if what this really is, is an effective form of misdirection to get us to feel bad about ourselves for the pain you feel every day. Trust me I don’t need anyone to make me feel bad about myself, every day I go through my own actions with a fine-tooth comb looking what/ how I hurt others and how I can do better.
What I want most is to find peace in myself for those who continuously scream into the void that we’re all to blame for the shadow work they can’t do because maybe their life has been so painful for them that asking them to vaccinate or take any kind of accountability in this pandemic is asking too much of them. All I know for sure is if 50 years from now if it turns out the vaccine was a mistake I merged with the majority and scientists to do what was needed to be in this together, and that my friend is anything but divisive.
You can’t agree to disagree on scientific proven facts. Stop using the argument of divisiveness to manipulate or gaslit others into agreeing with you. Your fragility is showing when you do this. When you chose to ignore scientific fact and prioritize your body autonomy over what the collective needs then claim we’re the divisive ones you are walking a dangerous line steeped in a need to control. I chose to believe in acting with scientific minds and to amalgamate. I also believe there should be restrictions for those who are 9 times more likely to pass the virus because they won’t vaccinate, not because we are trying to take your freedom away, or because we want to ostracize you, but because we don’t want you or anyone else to die. Is there a way we can simply look at it that way? Does that mean I am finding lockdowns easy or don’t want this to end? HELL NO! I watch loved ones lose their jobs, struggle with addiction and suicidal thoughts and feel completely powerless. What I don’t do though is create word salad jargon to divert attention from me to find someone to blame for how I am feeling. That is not okay. I am getting tired of seeing people like, share and passive aggressively use this extremely abusive technique or empower those who illicit fear and post divisive content then in that very content claim others are doing this. When you lose the ability to self-reflect and post such outrageous themes of oxymoron is when I need to see myself out of your platform because the truth is it is just too hard for me to spend time in your trigger while also trying to manage my own.
Take care of yourselves during this hard time, much love,
Candice.
